Pills

"Your so rude" ... yeah you know what BITE ME

Okay so this situation occured where I was really pissed and I was snatching my best friend, yes I'll admit that it was rude to snatch her in the middle of her conversation with some chick who was apparently "tired" anyhow I was joking around and the chick went "I don't feel like taking your annoying behaviour atm" I was pissed as it is, and she just added fuel to the fire but, I joked around more saying "I just said that to make you shut up" come on I had to say something as a come back, but I wasn't serious the girl called me rude and my "best friend" as well : ) and she was like "I'm not going to come with you" I was like meh fine : D.

Later in the day, like 30 minutes ago she logged in as soon as my mother called me for dinner she told that what I had done was really rude and that the chick was "tired" and took 2 pills and what not. Heres something she doesn't know I pop god knows how many pills a day, I use so many meds I lost count, and at the time this happened I could barely walk but, I forced myself to act normal and walked like nothing is aching. I don't want to tell anyone cuz I don't feel like being pitied -_-" anyyyhow my point is, she told me this on messenger and the conversation went something like.

Friend: That was very rude
Me: okay ^^ brb gonna grab me dinner
Friend(when I was gone): your a waste of my time...bye!

When I talked to her to tell her I wasn't serious to start with, she went offline :O how amazing...

ANYYYHOW I went on my OTHER e-mail and TADA shes online guess she forgot to block me over there too... point is there goes another person who I respected to one of the people who I USED to respect, I'm already down as it is what with me getting sick >_> so I guess no matter what she does can't go down more than I already am

You can't kick me down when I'm already on the ground

~M~

Smile

Smiling is an easy act... but to smile truly, to smile from the heart, to smile with true happiness filling your heart....that is hard to achieve. And to some people unachievable.. for some time I used to smile without being happy, just smile when people say something they think is funny, smile when people smile at you, smile when someone asks you to smile, smile smile smile.... but I never really smiled of true happiness unless I was with certain people.

I'd smile when I sat with my friends, but I'd truly smile when I sat with my best and closest friends, I'll admit I smile fakely when I sit with my cousins and family members, who have lost all respect for me because I don't act like them I don't choose to live like them but, I choose to live like me that ticks them off, they joke around I smile fakely :) a smile so fake that one my friends who saw me with my family, dragged me to a corner and told me "Stop smiling so fakely, it hurts to look at you act that your happy when it's quite obvious your not".

My whole point from this post is to say
when you find people who make u HAPPY who make you SMILE without having to force your self... STICK TO THEM... don't you EVER let go, be by them in their best and worst because, if you do so. They'll be with you in YOUR worst and best...
~M~

Opening {Friends}

Good morning/afternoon,

You know people never really value what they have until they loose it, yes maybe when you read this line you'll think well this isn't the first time someone says that. Yeah, yeah... but I just want share from personal experience, not that I didn't value my friend until she was gone it was more like she didn't value me until I was gone. Now I get e-mails, msn spamming from her, you see here is the thing this is how a normal conversation with her would go:

Me: Hi sup?
Her: Nm..Look I'm busy talking to my REAL friends

I'd just laugh it off, but what really ticked me off is when she came to me and told me that all her "REAL" friends are dissing her, now she wants us to be "bff"s, because according to her she realised that I'm a good friend because I took all her crap with a smile, but apparently they didn't
WELL point is, real friends or good ones at least are those who stick by you no matter what happens, not those who ditch you or diss you when you act like pathetic losers
BUT real/good friends don't stick by forever you gotta find them and hold onto them

Next time, I'm going to talk about myself, personality wise and stuff :P

Song of the day: Crawling- Linkin Park
Mood: Not so good
Line of week: "I want a kitty"
-M-